Since the American legal system frowns upon punching your subordinates in the face, I am forced to do the next best thing- create a literal “hit” list for people I want to punch in the face. The concept of my list of names began back in college, although now I can’t remember why. I know at the time one of my friends was having guy issues, and mix that in with finals week and you’ve got the perfect recipe for being punch worthy.
The list, or mine at least, has been written into the hard drive of my brain, as opposed to pen and ink, and much like a robot/Iron Man view of the world, sends up a red target when threats I have saved come into my vicinity. Think of it as the “Oh, shi*t, it’s you again?” voice in your head. Like a pissed off Jiminy Cricket that is still classy and cordial. Smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside. That’s when you know someone is on your punch list.
Names of the people on my list are to remain anonymous, but to give you an idea, I will provide categories of people.
- The Drop-everything-you’re-doing-to-help-me person
- The I’m-better-than-you person
- The I-don’t-take-responsibility-for-anything-so-I’m going-to-blame-you person
- The We-have-an-exclusive-group-so-you-can’t-join person
- The I-always-have-the-last-say-person
- The Work-smarter-not-harder person (This phrase just annoys me, really. I’m not sure it counts as a person. )
- Among others…
No, I am not the type to hold grudges, but when you’re added to my list, it will take more than a simple sorry to get off. Some people I just don’t care to keep company with. And why would I want any of the above as a friend? I think to get off my list there would have to be some massive changes to a person, like on the molecular level or something close to character change, genetic makeup change, struck by lightning, etc.
Call me bitter, call me angry, but I know for certain that you have a “People I Want to Punch in the Face” list, too.