Taco Shrapnel

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Unless you’re a complete BA like Mr. Dos Equis Man, you’ve probably experienced a little thing I like to call…

T A C O   S H R A P N E L 

It may seem odd to equate the two seemingly different nouns, but I give you Exhibit A ( or Definintion b, really) :

Shrapnel-dictionary.com

Caught up in the moment of hunger lust, it’s easy to begin not eating, but inhaling your taco. Instead of taking slow, even bites, entire chunks of tortilla are ripped off  in rapid, forceful motions. With the pressure being unevenly dispersed and building because of the ever-shrinking space to fill, the contents of your taco have no other choice but to build at the end of your tortilla, making the bite that follows equivalent to  pulling the pin in a grenade.

As your teeth sink down, a good 1/3 – 1/2 of your taco’s filling(s) end up splattering all over the plate – if you’re lucky enough to have a plate. Unfortunately, most of the time you will be left with greasy tell tale signs of the treacherous fallout on your shirt front or pant leg.

I’d like to provide you advice on how to alleviate this issue, but I refuse to succumb to solutions of  eating at a steady pace, eating something un-messy, or eating my taco without a tortilla. I’m not sure the latter even counts as a taco, but I do hope you take the necessary precautions to avoid the dangers of taco shrapnel.

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